Dictionary... almost!

Take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing only one letter and supply a new definition.

Intaxication

Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Foreploy

Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting sex.

Sarchasm

The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Hipatitis

Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis

A degenerate disease.

Glibido

All talk and no action.

Reintarnation

Coming back to life as a hillbilly

Bozone

(n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration

(n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti

Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Inoculatte

To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Karmageddon

It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Dopeler

The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Beelzebug

(n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor

(n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Decafalon

(n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Arachnoleptic fit

(n.) The frantic dance performed just after accidentally walking through a spider web.

Ignoranus

A person who's both stupid and an asshole.