John Oliver’s “Moment Of Premium Cable Profanity”
Sadly we must begin with a few words about France which on Friday suffered the deadliest attack on its soil since World War II.
Look, it’s hardly been 48 hours, and much is still unknown, but there are a few some things we can say for certain. And this is when it actually helps to be on HBO, where those things can be said without restraints. Because after the many necessary and appropriate moments of silence, I’d like to offer you a moment of premium cable profanity.
So here is where things stand:
First, as of now we know this attack was carried out by gigantic fucking assholes. Unconscionable flaming assholes. Possibly working with other fucking assholes. Definitely working in service of an ideology of pure assholery.
Second, and this goes almost without saying: Fuck these assholes. Fuck them, if I may say, sideways.
And third, it is important to remember, nothing about what these assholes are trying to do is going to work. France is going to endure and I’ll tell you why. If you are in a war of culture and lifestyle with France, good fucking luck. Because go ahead, bring your bankrupt ideology. They’ll bring Jean-Paul Sartre, Edith Piaf, fine wine, Gauloise cigarettes, Camus, Camembert, madeleines, macarons, Marcel Proust, and the fucking croquembouche. You just brought a philosophy of rigorous self-abnegation to a pastry fight, my friend. You are fucked, that is a French freedom tower.
So to the people of France, our thoughts are truly with you.
